I was inspired on Aug. 16th by watching "Julie/Julia." I cried during the movie because it was so much like my own life. Both Julia's - the Queens girl (but I love Queens!) and the late-blooming Julia in Paris. So many parallels between their lives and my own that it made me cry. 9/11 in the background...working for a NYC gov't agency... on the phones... speaking French... Commuting to the city... being an underachiever given my former academic success... being a procrastinator... being a late-bloomer (like Julia)...
That's why Queens Julie inspired me to start my own 1-year blog. I got into a fight with my sister about what to make my goal. I felt criticized, but I was unfair to my sister and became overly sensitive. I also procrastinated about starting this blog until now. She suggested entering a beauty pageant, and that is the only goal that remotely has inspired me. I need to get into shape, but it appears that only my vanity is what motivates me.
When I grew up watching Miss America, I always wanted to be on stage winning the tiara and sash. But in my mind I was too plain. I didn't like my complexion or facial features - I judged myself too harshly by the standards of beauty on television. Now I appreciate that I was and am pretty but haven't made the most of my looks.
Looking back, I wish I had faith in God's Power, in His Possibilities. But I'm glad that I now have faith in His Son Jesus. I read about the ordeal that one Miss USA had gone through, the year I graduated from high school. If that had been me, I would have been in danger! I think God Protected me. Then I read about how Miss USA 2003 used her platform to promote abstinence. I was surprised by the year - 2003 is when I truly became a Christian. So maybe God is saying to me that it's okay to pursue this dream as long as Jesus is planted firmly in my heart first.
That is why I know God is Blessing this Blog. I found Ms. Christian America contest that will be held next August in Los Angeles. That will be my goal! I will use this blog to update my efforts and keep me on track. I finally started it-- on the last day of August 2009! Please help me go for my dream - please pray for me! I am asking God and Jesus to grow back my hair and help me lose weight (approximately 50 lbs). I am giving myself permission to be a beautiful woman, take care of myself and not feel guilty about it, so that I can be more joyful, energetic and enthusiastic to serve God! By being happy I can be a joy to others. I would also have more energy and be able to buy more economical and nicer clothes.
Also please pray for me to write words of encouragement on this blog - Words of Faith that heal others, inspire others to dream and pursue their dreams to honor God and Jesus. It's very easy to kvetch about what's going wrong in one's life. It takes courage and faith to write about what's going right and how to make life right by God. Help me to speak words that will make me clean from inside out. Maybe most importantly that, through this year, I become more beautiful inside first.
